No man with anxiety listens to his inner voice. That voice is exactly your guide, your path and direction, and if you don’t listen to it, you will get off your path. These are your subtle innate aspirations and qualities. It’s what you were born to do, that voice that guides you to reach your full potential and live as you truly are, regardless of how you do it and what it does to others. You have to follow your inner voice because you gain experiences, learn, mature through it. Most often we suppress it because we are afraid that if we do what we want, we will hurt others. We keep being afraid of what they will say, what they will think, etc.
I had been rowing for over 6 years and had been successful at it. I had a friend who was always there, and I always felt that I didn’t need to express myself when I received some praise or won a medal. I was ashamed to express myself fully because he was there. In fact, he was jealous of my success. Not wanting to hurt him, I put my first medal under my shirt. My inner voice was bursting with happiness because I had won. I would have jumped to the sky, but I didn’t. I hid it for others.
I understood that it was a huge mistake that I was suppressing myself, so I decided to take an even better place in the next competition, the first place. I took it, took out the medal, approached to my friend and an inner voice said to me: “Give him a pat on the head”. That’s what I did.
Why did I hide the medal and suppress my being that wanted to express itself?
When you are afraid to say or do something in order not to hurt someone, it means that this person does not want you to express yourself. It bothers him and you can feel it. What kind of a person is he then? When you can express yourself freely in front of someone, then you are acting out of yourself. It used to happen to me that when someone is passing by and called me on the phone to tell me to put the coffee on and that he or she would drop by for a short visit, I didn’t even get around to ask my gut if I wanted it. I had already reacted and was eating myself because of it. I was suffering because I didn’t think about whether I wanted to let him in, and he was already in. It is the inner voice that is extremely important. If you don’t listen to it, you will lose your confidence.
You also have another voice, the voice of fear. It only says: “You can’t”, “You won’t”, “You’re not sure”, “Shut up”, “You’re poor, simple and stupid”. Fear is just a program and a feeling, and the inner voice is you. You must listen to it and follow it. If you don’t, you will be stressed out and stuck. A man who loves himself only listens and follows the inner voice. If someone calls you to check in, you tell them to wait a minute to see something. Hang up the phone and think about whether you want to see him. Ignore the fear that tries to extinguish your sense of being. That feeling has to come out. He permeates your body; you want to have your right with your whole being. If you keep silent because you are afraid to speak, then you suffer.
For every deeply anxious person, the reason why they went down is because they were not listening to this voice. During the anxiety period, I constantly wrote about my feelings and actions in notebooks. While I was tidying up the apartment, I read some of my completely wrong beliefs like “You have to be adaptable”, “You have to use time together with your partner”, etc. I went against myself and now, when I look at it, I realize how many mistakes I made and it’s no wonder I was anxious for ten years. I didn’t listen to myself, so the suffering caused me to fall into that state. I suffered to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and only then did I start listening to myself. Out of suffering, I said that I didn’t want something. I started to manifest myself and then I realized that my inner voice was constantly telling me where I should go. It knows what is needed so well.
The inner feeling can best be seen in silence. I let the loud inspiring music play, sit down and look around the apartment. Then I just feel. The voice tells me what I am doing and what I am not doing well, what I need to change, etc. Feel free to stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself: “I will make you proud of me”.